Toxicity… to stay or go?
Welcome to the first ever Words of Wisdom conversation! My name is Ashley Resch and I am your coach, writer, favourite influencer … hopefully but most importantly I am a 28 , almost 29 year old woman just trying to figure it out.
Over the last 6 years I have become some what of a, connoisseur of experiencing toxicity in romantic relationships and I know I am not the only one feeling like this. It seems like everyone now has a place to step out, a reason to be resentful or because of the overwhelming amount of “options” people give up easier.
Hurt people, hurt people, and even those who you love so much and love you back more do have the ability to not see how they hurt you, but this type of inevitable heartache that someone you love can cause you, and the abuse of toxicity are not the same, lets make one thing clear- Abuse and love CANNOT co-exist and toxicity is abuse.
Toxic relationships and toxic people change our brains and change our nervous systems to be wired to them like drugs, to need, to want, to crave the person that destroys you because you’re brain in a toxic relationship is just like your brain on drugs; addicted to the chaos, addicted to the pain, chasing the high to avoid withdrawal.
To leave, begin by admitting to yourself, telling yourself that you love and deserve more. Lives being intertwined this can’t be easy, we will start with baby steps. Every morning tell yourself- I love who I am and because I do, I know I deserve more and I will receive more love & respect. Make the big move, the big breakup when you are safe and ONLY when you are safe. In order to leave you have to start getting comfortable with the idea that this person cannot and will not be YOUR person, because your person would never abuse you.
Leaving is never easy, choosing yourself is even harder because we convince ourselves that we deserve what is happening to us, but have you ever considered that you aren’t the problem? That you are just somebody who has been put in a bad situation? I don’t know what has happened in your past life but I do know that nobody asks for this. Nobody asks to be sitting and reading about how to leave and how to break the cycle, but you wake up and your here.
No contact works for a reason. Choose it. Block the numbers, block the accounts, withdraw from them.
Every single day wake up and love yourself the way that you want to be chosen and loved by someone
Affrimations DAILY- write them, speak them, put them on your screen background to read them. Your thoughts are your future, make it work for you
Don’t be so hard on yourself when you miss them.
Reach out for love & support in others- find your friend group, find your family.
You can do this. You can love yourself more than anyone has ever loved you before, because you deserve it. You deserve healthy love, you deserve happiness, you deserve peace.